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3 Reasons a Thoughtful Divorce Can Be Better for Kids Than an Unhappy Marriage


Nobody wants their kids to have to deal with a divorce, but sometimes it's inevitable. Here's one thing that should be soothing if you experience the common guilt that divorcing parents face. Psychologists find that it is the fighting that can harm children, regardless of whether their parents get divorced or not.
There may be such a thing as a happy marriage, but there is typically no such thing as a totally happy divorce. Divorcing is not going to be a walk in the park for any member of the family, but it can ultimately be in the best interests of you and your kids. Read on to learn why divorce may be the best choice among the difficult ones you have in an unhappy marriage.

Divorce Can Relieve Tension If Frequent Fighting Is Inevitable

The most damaging thing for kids is to grow up among constant fighting and bickering. It can be very upsetting for children to feel that they need to choose between the two feuding parents they love. If you and your soon-to-be ex cannot stop fighting, divorce may actually be a huge relief for the kids who will be happy to no longer have such a dark cloud hanging over their home life.

Although the relief may not be instantly obvious to some kids, they may come to realize it over time. For some children, they slowly come to realize how much better off they are not worrying about their parents fighting and trying to make a marriage work that just isn't working. Post-divorce conflicts should be kept from kids so that they see both parents cooperating for their best interests.

Responsible Parental Behavior Can Show Kids Why the Divorce Is Necessary

When you model strong, positive behavior during the divorce, your children can learn a lot about how to survive and respond to conflict. Grace under pressure can help children learn about how to handle major changes in their lives. When you focus on the family and doing what you can to make the situation happier for you and your kids, they see your love in action.

Most children want to feel informed during a divorce, so it may also be helpful if you share filtered information with them at an age-appropriate level. You never want to involve kids in the nitty-gritty details of a divorce or of any ongoing feuds between you and your ex, especially when it comes to custody, but it's okay to let your children know updates on the progress of the divorce.

Life After Divorce Can Be More Joyful for Everyone

Although it can be hard to believe when you are in the middle of the most painful parts of your divorce, it is truly possible that your post-divorce life can be more joyful for you, your ex, and your kids. When you show your children that happiness is worth fighting for and that it's important to take positive actions to protect everyone’s best interests, you can be a powerful example.

If your children start to worry over a certain aspect of the divorce, engaging them in a conversation about what you ultimately want to happen with your post-divorce lives can help them envision a happy future, too. You may be surprised at how well children adjust when they see how much happiness is possible when parents are well while divorced.

Finally, keep in mind that there are few straightforward answers at the start of a divorce. Be sure to see your divorce lawyer for any questions you have along the way as well as legal support. At the Novack Law Offices, we care about the well-being of your family. We've been providing divorce law assistance for 32 years and would love to put our expertise to work to help you through your divorce.


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    The information you obtain at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding you individual situation. We invite you to contact us and welcome your call, letter or electronic mail. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to you until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established.